


Harry Potter and the Accidental Weasley

by MagicMarshHarrier



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Chaotic Weasleys, Dementors, Friendship, Gen, Gryffindor, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Express, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry - Freeform, I hope my grammar is correct, Magic, Muggles, My First Fanfic, No Romance, Platform 9 3/4, Pranks, Prisoner of Azkaban, What am I doing, Wizards, confused muggle, fake wizard, harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban - Freeform, im bored, muggle accidentally goes to Hogwarts, muggle at hogwarts, muggle discovers magic, muggle mistaken for a weasley, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:21:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24695953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicMarshHarrier/pseuds/MagicMarshHarrier
Summary: Joseph Cato was a red-haired muggle who had turned fifteen two weeks ago. He had planned to catch a train at King’s Cross when he was accidentally kidnapped! He ends up at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Unfortunately, Joseph will not be able to get back to London until the Christmas holidays. To make matters worse, a mass murderer is on the loose, and the blood purists will have his head if they discover that he is a muggle. Lucky for him, Fred and George Weasley are there to help Joseph survive the Wizarding World.
Relationships: Fred Weasley & George Weasley, Lee Jordan & Fred Weasley & George Weasley, No Romantic Relationships - Relationship, OC & Fred Weasley & George Weasley & Lee Jordan
Comments: 14
Kudos: 26





	1. The Hogwarts Express

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I’m doing. This is my first fanfic. Just a random idea I got. I was bored so I wrote it down. In case you can’t tell this is a fanfic so I obviously don’t own anything. I’m not sure how consistent updates will be because I’m just testing this out. I would love advice on how to improve Enjoy!

“JOSEPH! HURRY UP OR YOU’LL MISS YOUR TRAIN!” the voice of an exasperated mother called. 

“I’M COMING, MUM!” Joseph yelled back. He stumbled down the stairs to see his mother waiting impatiently. 

“Look at you! You’re not even ready! If you aren’t by the car in five minutes then I won’t drop you off at the station.”

Joseph hurriedly threw on some clothes and brushed his ginger hair. With his shoes in his hands, backpack on his shoulders, and a piece of toast hanging from his mouth, he hurried to the car. After tossing his backpack onto the backseat, Joseph sat down on the passenger seat and began to tie his shoes.

“Are you wearing those old clothes I told you to get rid of ages ago?” his mother asked.

“Maybe...” Joseph replied as he finished tying his shoes and began scarfing down his toast.

“Joseph! You promised me you got rid of those. I would turn around and make you change, but we hardly have enough time as it is. And for goodness sake get buckled and stop eating like an animal.”

“Yeah, sorry about that, Mum,” Joseph apologized as he turned on the radio. The rest of the ride consisted of small talk and poor attempts at singing songs that played on the radio.

When they arrived at King’s Cross, Joseph’s mum gave him a hug. “I love you, Joseph. I’d wait with you for your train, but I need to head to work. Have fun with your friends and stay out of trouble,” she told him.

“I love you too, mum. See you in two days!” he replied. 

After watching his mother drive away, he began to head towards his platform. Joseph was suddenly grabbed by the arm by a lady with similar red hair.

“George! I thought you already went through the barrier with Fred,” the woman said.

“Uh, I’m not-“

“Oh sorry, Fred. Now get going, we don’t have all day,” the woman told him as she pulled towards a brick wall between platforms nine and ten. The lady looked at him expectantly.

“Ummm... Tha- that’s a brick wall,” he said, confused.

The fiery haired woman rolled her eyes and dragged him THROUGH the wall. Joseph blinked. He rubbed at his eyes and stared at the scarlet steam engine. People wearing what seemed to be dresses hurried around. Owls hooted and cats hissed at each other as their owners boarded the train. A boy a few years younger than Joseph stumbled past while chasing after a runaway toad. 

The woman pushed Joseph onto the train. He stood frozen in place from shock. A boy with whitish-blonde hair shoved Joseph out of the way while muttering something about weasels. Joseph continued to stare blankly in shock. The train began to pull away from the station, and a boy with messy black hair hurried past while shooting a “Hey, Fred!” over his shoulder. As the train was already going, Joseph decided that his best course of action was to wait until it reached its next stop and figure out how to reach his destination from there.

Joseph shook himself out of his stupor and went to find himself a compartment. He pulled open a compartment door to find a boy with dreadlocks and a set of identical twins that looked remarkably like himself waving around sticks. 

“Rictumsempra!” one of the twins yelled while pointing a stick at the boy with dreadlocks. Dreadlocks boy began rolling on the floor while laughing uncontrollably. 

The second twin aimed his stick and twin number one. “Tarantallegra!” he cried. The first twin tried to roll away but was to late. Twin number one began dancing uncontrollably. Dreadlocks boy shakily aimed a stick at twin two. “Aguamenti!” the boy managed to get out between laughs. A jet of water shot out of the strange twig and thoroughly soaked both twins. Disturbed, Joseph pulled out his Nokia and decided to contact the authorities. His phone fizzled out and a puff of smoke came from it. The three occupants of the compartment turned to stare at him. They waved their sticks a few times and the water disappeared, the dancing ceased, and the uncontrollable laughter came to a halt.

“Ummmmm...” Joseph awkwardly said.

“Fred, George, please tell me you didn’t clone yourselves. Two of you is plenty,” dreadlocks said.

“Nope!” said the twins simultaneously, “We have not.”

“Who are you, my good sir?” Asked one twin.

“We’ve never seen you at Hogwarts before,” stated the other.

“Uh, I’m Joseph Cato, and I think your mother kidnapped me.” The twins stared at him. “I was just minding my business when this lady I assume is your mother pulled me through a wall and put me on this train and I have no idea what is going on. Why are so many people wearing dresses? Where can I get a pet owl? Where is this train going? What’s with those crazy sticks? Who are you? How-“

“Anything off the trolley, dearies?” the trolley lady interrupted Joseph’s questions. After the twins and the other boy purchased some sweets, they refocused their attention on Joseph.

“Your mum kidnapped a muggle!” the boy with dreadlocks exclaimed. “Should we answer his questions?”

“Why not? He’ll be obliviated anyways,” said a twin. “Take a seat.”

“I’m Lee Jordan,” the boy with dreadlocks told Joseph.

“And we’re...” the twins chorused. “Fred and-“ said twin one. “-George” said twin two. “Weasley,” they finished together.

“We’re wizards. We wear robes and carry wands,” Lee informed Joseph. “The train is headed towards Hogwarts—the school where we learn magic—and owls can be purchased in Diagon Alley.”

“Can I learn magic?” Joseph asked excitedly.

“Sorry, mate,” said George.

“You’re what’s called a muggle, meaning-“ said Fred

“You’re a non-magical person,” finished George.

“Oh,” said Joseph sadly.

The Hogwarts Express lurched to a sudden stop. The lights flickered off and the air grew cold. A sense of dread crept up Joseph’s spine...


	2. Dementors and Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joseph ride on the Hogwarts Express ends after an encounter with a dementor. Joseph, the twins, and Lee now must meet with Dumbledore and decide what must be done about Joseph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo... I’ve already written chapter two. I need a life.

* * *

**Previously:** _The Hogwarts express lurched to a sudden stop. The lights flickered off and the air grew cold. A sense of dread crept up Joseph’s spine..._

“What’s happening?” Joseph whispered.

“I don’t know,” Lee whispered back.

“Lumos,” Fred mumbled. Fred’s wand lit up like a torch.

Suddenly, the air grew even colder. The freezing air seemed to cut Joseph straight to his core. He was filled with a sense of misery and fear. His breathing became fast and all of his nightmares came forth in his mind. The terror abruptly disappeared. The lights turned back on, and the boys covered their eyes from the sudden change in brightness. Fred waved his wand and said, “Nox.” The light shining from his wand went out.

The four boys looked out of the compartment door to see a silvery wolf running up and down the train and giving everyone a sense of safety. A few minutes after the strange wolf disappeared, a man with light brown hair and tattered robes passed out chocolate. “Eat this. It will help negate the effects of dementors,” the man told them. Before they could ask questions, he left.

“What are dementors?” asked Joseph.

“They guard Azkaban, the wizard prison. They feed on happiness,” said George.

“Why were they here?” Joseph wondered.

“They were probably searching for Sirius Black,” George told them.

“Sirius Black? Wasn’t he on the news for escaping prison?” Joseph questioned.

“Sirius Black is a dark wizard who killed many people. He was You-Know-Who’s right hand man,” shared Lee.

“What type of name is You-Know-Who?” asked Joseph.

“We don’t say his name, but he was a dark lord. He put a taboo on his name during the war so whenever someone said his name his followers—called Deatheaters—would show up and kill them. He’s supposedly dead now after his killing curse backfired, but people still don’t like to say his name because of all the horrible things he did so now we just call him You-Know-Who or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named,” Lee informed Joseph.

“What else did You-Know-Who do?” Joseph asked them.

“He was obsessed with blood purity. You see, in the wizarding world there are three different groups of people. There’s the muggleborns—wizards or witches who’s parents are both muggles. Half-bloods have a muggle or muggleborn parent and a purblood parent. The purebloods have parents who have been wizards and witches for a while. Fred and George are purebloods, and I’m a half-blood. You-Know-Who would go around killing muggles, muggleborns, squibs (those are people without magic whose parents have magic), blood traitors (purebloods who support muggles), and anyone who opposed him. He attacked a family called the Potters on Halloween 1981, but when he turned his wand on their baby son Harry, Harry somehow deflected it. Rumor has it that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is still alive, biding his time and hoping to rise again,” Lee ended the story on that chilling note, and the remainder of the ride was silent.

The Hogwarts Express finally reached its proper destination. They climbed aboard strange horseless stage coaches. The ride brought them past more dementors before reaching a magnificent castle. Joseph gaped in wonder at Hogwarts. Built in a valley, the marvelous seven-story castle’s windows reflected the cloudy night sky. There was a large glittering lake, a foreboding forest, a strange stadium, sloping lawns, massive greenhouses, and many magnificent sights to behold. The carriages stopped and they all climbed out before walking through massive oak doors. The Entrance Hall displayed a large marble staircase, beautiful paintings that somehow moved, and several suits of armor. The group turned right and went through a set of double doors that led into the Great Hall. The mass of students separated as students went to tables draped in red and gold; silver and green; blue and bronze; or yellow and black.

Lee, Fred, and George led Joseph to an old man with a long, white beard. “Professor Dumbledore, sir,” began George.

“Our beloved mother-“ continued Fred.

“-might have kidnapped-“ said George.

“-a muggle,” the twins finished together.

The old man stared down at Joseph with a twinkle in his blue eyes. “He does look remarkably like a Weasley. The Sorting Ceremony is about to begin. This discussion will have to wait. I want all of you to meet me in my office after the Feast. The password is lemon meringue. Ignore anyone’s questions about him until we make a plan to deal with this situation.”

“Yes, sir,” the boys all chorused.

The group walked to the Gryffindor table as the twins explained the Houses. The Sorting soon began, and after Dumbledore made a few announcements about the dementors and new teachers (read _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_ pages 91-93), the feast began. Foods of all kinds appeared on the plates, and Joseph was soon stuffed full of delicious food.

“Fred, George, who is that?” asked a red-haired boy with a badge displayed proudly on his robes.

The twins ignored the older boys question and asked, “What’s the password to the common room, Percy? We have a meeting with Dumbledore soon so we won’t be there when you tell everyone.”

“I’m not supposed to tell you until we reach the portrait,” Percy declared.

“Pleaseeeeee,” begged the twins.

“No,” replied Percy. “Please please please please please please please please,” the twins chanted.

“Stop it!” said a frustrated Percy.

“PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE PLEA-“ shouted the twins.

“Okay, okay, fine. You win. Just stop yelling. The password is ‘Fortuna Major,’” Percy told them, defeated.

“Yayyy! Thanks, Percy,” cheered the twins.

Percy grumbled in reply.

The students were all dismissed to their dormitories. Fred, George, Lee, and Joseph headed to the Headmaster’s Office. After reaching two stone gargoyles and saying “Lemon meringue,” the group rode the ascending staircase to the office and knocked on the door.

“Come in!” called Dumbledore.

The boys entered the office. After politely declining some sherbert lemons (because lemon drops are nasty), they settled onto comfortable chairs around the headmaster’s desk.

Dumbledore looked at the twins and Joseph. “I’m afraid I can’t tell the three of you apart. Would our unexpected guest please introduce himself to me and explain how he ended up here?”

Joseph introduced himself and explained the circumstances of his arrival.

“Well, we have a bit of a problem,” said Dumbledore.

“What is it?” asked Lee.

“The Hogwarts Express won’t be available until the Christmas holidays and the Floo is disconnected for security reasons. We also can’t apparate or use the Knight Bus to return him to his home. If we leave the Hogwarts wards or Hogsmeade, we risk being attacked by Sirius Black or the dementors. Also, the Knight Bus will be avoiding the Hogwarts area until Sirius Black is caught as they too do not want exposure to Sirius Black or dementors. I’m afraid this means Mr. Cato will have to remain at Hogwarts until Christmas break,” Dumbledore told them.

“What am I supposed to do?” asked Joseph.

“You need to convince everyone that you’re a wizard. The twins will teach you how to act like them. Mr. Jordan and Messrs Weasley will help make it look as though you can perform magic. They will educate you on the wizarding world so you can blend in. You will act as though you and the Weasley twins are triplets. People will probably think that the Weasley twins managed to clones themselves. I will let some of the teachers know of this situation.” Dumbledore turned to look at Lee and the twins, “You three may tell any trustworthy housemates who won’t purposely or accidentally ‘spill the beans.’ It is imperative that this event is kept quiet as I fear what would happen to Mr. Cato if certain people discover his identity. Slinky!” For a second, the four boys stared confusedly at the respected wizard before a strange creature popped into existence.

“What is that?!?” exclaimed Joseph incredulously.

“I is a house elf, sir,” said the elf dubbed ‘Slinky.’

“Slinky, please arrange a bed in the fifth year Gryffindor boys’ dorm for Mr. Joseph Weasley,” Dumbledore said.

“Yes, sir. Slinky does put bed for extra Weasel boy,” said the elf before popping away.

Dumbledore opened a window. “One last thing. Mr. Cato will need a ‘wand.’” Dumbledore waved his wand and said, “Accio stick.” After a few seconds a stick flew through the open window and landed in the palm of Professor Dumbledore’s hand. After a few simple transfigurations to make the stick more ‘wandlike,’ Dumbledore handed Joseph the stick and sent the boys off to their dorms.

As Joseph lay on his bed at Hogwarts, he could not help but wonder what the next day would bring forth...


	3. I Solemnly Swear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joseph learns the secret of the Marauders’ Map.

** Previously:  ** _ As Joseph lay on his bed at Hogwarts, he could not help but wonder what the next day would bring forth... _

“ Joseph, wake up,” a voice cut through Joseph’s sleep. He felt someone shake him.

“Joseph! You need to get up!” another voice told him. Joseph groaned and rolled over.

“Have you two woken him up yet?” asked a third voice.

“We’re trying, but he’s sound asleep,” said the first voice.

“Well... Desperate times call for desperate measures,” said voice two.

“I was thinking the same thing, dear brother,” said voice one.

“Aguamenti!” cried two voices simultaneously.

Joseph shot awake after being thoroughly soaked by water shooting from the wands of Fred and George.

“He’s definitely awake now,” said voice two, now identified as Fred.

Joseph looked out the window to see that the sky was still pitch black. “Ughhh... What time is it?”

“It’s four in the morning,” Lee informed him.

“Why did you wake me up so early!?!” Joseph complained.

“We need to prepare you to be a wizard and a Weasley,” George told him.

Fred shoved some robes into Joseph’s hand and told him to put them on. After struggling for a few minutes, Joseph was wearing the Hogwarts uniform.

“Come with us,” Lee told Joseph.

After George cancelled some silencing charms (“So we wouldn’t wake anyone else up when we woke you up”), they all headed to the Gryffindor common room. 

George pulled out a blank piece of parchment. “This is the secret to our success,” George informed him seriously. George put his wand on the parchment. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” Ink spread across the parchment, forming a map. 

“Behold! The Marauders’ Map,” Fred said, reverently. “This is not just any old map. It shows secret passageways; hidden rooms; and the location of every being in this castle, whether it be a professor, a student, a ghost, or Filch’s demon cat.”

“Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are our heroes. It is our dignified duty to honor the Marauders with our chaos and mischief making,” Lee solemnly told Joseph.

“Now come. We have much to teach you,” Fred told Joseph.

The pranksters led Joseph out of the common room. The group turned left down a hallway, went through an abandoned music room, and to a window that gave a view of the greenhouses. Opening the window revealed that it was, in fact, not a real window but the entrance to another corridor. They finally stopped at a moving portrait of children laughing and playing in front of a two-story house.

Lee pressed an inconspicuous button on the side of the painting with his pinky finger and said, “Aperta Sesama.” The painted children ran to the house and worked together to remove the door of the house. The children brought the door to the very front of the painting. Somehow, the door was no longer two-dimensional, as George grabbed the door handle and opened the door to reveal a spacious room.

“Welcome to our headquarters,” Fred announced with great pride.

The room was a deep purple color. Mismatched chairs were arranged around an expensive mahogany table. Ugly, mustard-yellow shelves were built into the left walls of the room. The shelves were cluttered with ragged books with titles such as  _ 6,012 ‘Charm’ing Pranks _ ,  _ Magical Mischief Making _ ,  _Potion Pranks_ , _Transfiguration Traps_ , _Rib-Tickling Runes for Wrecking Havoc_ ,  _ Chaos of Magical Creatures _ , etc.. Display cases showed curiosities the twins stole from Filch’s office. The twins told Joseph that the items in the locked box on the floor contained top secret pranking materials that the twins had invented or were still in the process of being created. In the right corner of the back wall were cauldrons, scales, and potions ingredients. Other items in the room included the following: a chalkboard, chalk, raw materials for transfiguration, parchment, quills, inkwells, blueprints, wizarding and muggle sweets, a stack of chocolate frog cards, a camera, a photo album of all of their best pranks, spare robes, several odd hats, a worn-out satchel, and a large selection of quidditch balls.

George thrust a piece of parchment into Joseph’s hand. “Memorize this. We call it the ‘Wheeze-Lee Oath.’”

After giving Joseph a few minutes to memorize the oath, Fred asked, “Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Joseph replied.

“Raise your right hand and place your left on the Marauders’ Map,” Lee told him.

Joseph followed his directions and then proceeded to swear the oath. “I, Joseph Cato, do solemnly swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability, this covenant: I will respect the genius of the Marauders in whose steps I walk. I will share my mischief knowledge to those who follow after. Sacred be the Moony. I will use my skills to bring joy and laughter to those around. I will remember that there is an art to mischief making. Holy is Padfoot. I will not be ashamed to receive help from my fellow pranksters. Mighty is the Wormtail. I will respect the secrecy of my fellow pranksters, for their pranks are not disclosed to me that I might spoil the prank. I will preserve the sanctity of mischief. So Help Me Prongs!”

“The last thing you must do to be fully inaugurated into our pranking society is...” said George.

They all smiled with glee, “You must direct a school wide prank...” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a few ideas for pranks, but I need more. If you have any ideas, please let me know.


	4. Indefinite Hiatus

Hello, everybody! I haven’t really been active in the Harry Potter fandom lately. I also haven’t been interested in fanfiction for a while. I don’t know if or when I’ll get back to this fanfic. If someone would like to use my idea, feel free to. Maybe someday I’ll write the rest, but for now I’ve been too busy and uninterested to write it. Sorry if you were looking forward to an update.


End file.
